Oh the places you'll go!

I've been meaning to write for a while since I don't seem to have caught the blogging bug quite yet. A lot has happened lately and right now I am at a major fork in the road of my life. I want to keep going straight on the path I've been on; however I have not been happy as of late. I moved into an apartment with my best friend the Saturday before Memorial Day and at first it was a lot of fun and liberating. I so enjoyed my new freedom and the independence that living on my own brought me. I was so blinded by this shiney new package that I didn't take time to see what was lying underneath all the shine and glitter.

I've become so unhappy and a slave to my paycheck, always worrying if I'll be able to pay the electric bill, or the Qwest bill or my rent. So much stress was being heaped on me. I wish I had listened to people who told me, "Don't move in with your best friend, cuz you'll end up hating each other." I don't hate her, but living together has torn us apart instead of bringing us closer. I knew something was wrong when I started to want to go home to my parents instead of going home to the apartment after work.

I'm moving back home to live with my parents. I'm rather excited about it. I've missed my family, especially my mom, while I've been living in Mesa. Weekly visits and dailt phone calls just don't cut it. I'm a mama's girl and I have no shame admitting that. This is a healthy choice for both her and me. I value our friendship way too much to continue living the way we have and slowly kill our friendship.

I can now focus on my most reliable alli: ME. I haven't focused on myself in only Heaven knows how long. I want to get my degree and find my future eternal companion. I want to pay off my debts and be able to rent or buy my own place and find some good LDS roommates who lift me up and encourage me to live the standards of the Church. I want to increase my testimony of Institute and tithing, and Temple attendance. I want to live a good and obedient life so I can receive all the blessings I am promised in my patriarchal blessing.

So instead of going straight on the path I'm on, I am going to CTR and choose the right fork that leads to joy and eternal happiness!

New Year, New Start

2010. Holy Crap, another year and another decade has gone by. I am now officially in my twenties and i aspire to make my twenties the best years of my life. I'm not terribly fond of making resolutions at New Year's since they always seem to be broken. However, I do want to make a few for myself that are little and attainable and therefore will be stepping stones towards bigger goals.

So. Of course, there is the cliche resolution- Lose Weight. Idealy, I would like to lose 50lbs. But that number is very overwhelming, so i've decided to take it in chunks. By the end of February i would like to have lost 10-15 pounds. I got a Wii Fit Plus for Christmas and I've enjoyed doing it so far. Right now, my goal is to do it for 5 days out of the week.

Also, I would like to take up a new hobby or refine an old one. I would like to learn how to decorate cakes more professionally or learn how to dance a social type of dance (ie salsa, samba or swing dancing).

Lastly, I would like to be a 3.0 student or better.

As for love, I'm going to take whatever happens. If I happen to get a boyfriend or dare I say it? get engaged...then GREAT! but if I don't then it's just not my time.

Here's to you 2010! May you be filled with happiness and joy!

i can't believe it's gotten this bad. i played my part, yet i apologized. i'm still getting knives in my back and treated like i'm Satan's spawn. now i've come to the decision that i'm done and i'm closing the chapter on this part of my life; i'm starting a new one where i can fulfil my hopes and dreams in peace and where people actually respect me for who i am. i won't turn back and give in to empty words and promises. i realize this new chapter in my life will be hard and difficult, and lonely at times, but i can do it.

no more drama from nasty girls!
no more saying sorry for being RIGHT!
no more taking on other peoples problems!

this time, it's about me.
it may sound selfish, but it's time i focused on myself.

i'm ready.

Life. GAH. at times i love it. but right now...it's driving me crazy and pushing me to the breaking point. this pre-calculus class i'm taking is really testing my nerves, emotions, and spirit. i've never been so frustrated in my entire life! when i go into class, i feel like everyone in there is speaking chinese or something and i'm the only one who speaks english. all this math is a foreign concept to me. and i still have the joy of taking calculus I in the fall... anyways, i have two tests this week, one of them being my final, and i am so ready for this class to be over!!!

i think i'll just finish off by doing this survey my sister did on her blog.

Tag You're it...5 things
5 Things I was doing 5 years ago
1. in my sophmore year of high school
2. being excited about being an aunt for the first time
3. hanging out with Kristi, Meagan and Alisha
4. being a complete Harry Potter nerd
5. working on being first chair flute in orchestra

5 Things on my to do list
1. PASS PRE-CALC!!!
2. save up enough money to buy a new car or apartment
3. decide where i'm going to transfer
4. find a hobby that makes me happy
5. finish decorating my room

What I would do with a Million dollars
1. Pay off my credit card bill
2. Pay for my schooling
3. buy a house and a new car
4. savings
5. buy a new wardrobe

5 Places I have lived
1. Chandler, Az
2. Chandler, Az
3. Chandler, Az
4. Chandler, Az
5. did i mention i've lived in Chandler, Az???

5 Things I want to be doing in 5 years
1. have my B.S. in Psychology
2. engaged or married
3. have a great job
4. starting my own family
5. be back to a size 6 or even 4!

The definition of Devree

"No two people are alike". What makes a person so different from everyone else? It should be obvious but really what is it? I decided to make a list of what sets me apart from everyone else...what makes me special...what makes me Devree.

-if i find song that i really like, i will put it on repeat about a hundred times
-i don't like vegetables
-i have a birthmark on my left hand that looks like a star
-i've never had braces before
-i dance and sing at the top of my lungs when i'm driving
-i pose like i'm a model when i'm getting ready
-i only make my bed once a week
-i think feet are disgusting
-i always have a pack of gum in my purse
-i'm a sucker for blue eyes
-most of my skirts that i wear are actually my moms
-i buy perfume mainly for the bottles
-i have never eaten sushi and i dont plan on ever eating it
-my dream date would involve me and my date just chilling at one of our houses, making dinner and then watching an action movie while he gives me a foot rub =]
-i hate large groups of people
-i don't know what my natural hair color is
-i bite my nails when i'm watching movies
-i have an addiction to mexican food
-i like going grocery shopping
-i have a scar on almost every part of my body; most of them i have no idea how i got it
-i sweat more than the average girl and i hate it
-i know an unhealthy amount of Harry Potter facts
-i wish i could go back to high school
-i cry a lot. sometimes for no apparent reason.

wow. that turned out longer and differently than i thought it would, haha.

Oh Happy Day!

i did not have by any normal standards a spectacular or sensational day. but on the inside...in my heart i did. i got to vent and set goals as i usually do once a month with the lovely Cami. =] i then came home and snacked on string cheese and grapes while watching my new favorite movie of the week- Hairspray! (Zac Efron= YUM!) and then, since my parents are always making me dinner, i thought i would make them dinner! YAY! i ended up making a friend's recipe called jazzed up tomato soup which has dried onions, garlic powder, bacon chunks and cheese in it. it is SOO good and it turned out to be a hit with mis padres! *commence dancing and spinning in chair in celebration* we also had grilled cheese sandwhiches which were also yummy!

and then finally to top the night off, I went over to Becca, Debbie and Steph's house to watch Stardust! it was quite funny at first because Jessie did not want to watch it at all. but as time went on, she was literally on the edge of her seat and squeed with the rest of us girls while the guys just laughed at us. we were all slapstick happy and making jokes the entire time. i haven't laughed that much in a long while and it felt great!

i'm happy with my life once again even though it's not quite what i want it to be. i have the light back on inside of me! =]

Letting go with Love

it never really occured to me until recently that in order to move on, you have to let go with love in your heart. This concept was completely foreign to me until i had a discussion with one of my good friends. there i was hurt and distraught over something that was completely out of my control and she told me that in order to move on, i have to let go with love in my heart. and until i am able to do that, i cannot fully move on. and last night, i was finally able to do that. i feel so much happier already! it still stings a little, but that is overshadowed by the joy i feel!

in other news, school is almost over. GAAAAH. so much to do with so little time!