Dear Future Husband...

recent events have really made me think of the kind of husband i need/want and what kind of wife i might be. so i decided to write my thoughts down so that maybe i can make sense of what is going on in my brain.

Dear Future Hubby,
First off, I am a handful. There is a lot of emotional baggage that comes with me. I will do my best not to blame you or get mad at you for what previous jerks have done to me. It is not your fault. But I expect you to be understanding and loving should I slip. I am a physical person. I don't just WANT you to hold and hug and kiss me... I NEED you to; I need you to show me that you love me even when I don't look great and that you appreciate me. In return I will give you the love and affection you want/need. Please make me laugh...That is the way to my heart. When I rub the back of your neck in the car, I want you to talk to me. However, if you should come home and find me frantically cleaning the bathroom and muttering to myself, it's best not to ask me what is wrong until I come to you in tears for a hug. Please don't laugh at me when I am having a difficult time doing something; you will most likely end up on the couch that night. But just a warning, I just might laugh my butt off when you burn dinner on the grill you put together yourself...and then I will apologize profusely for laughing at you when you start chasing me with the spatchula. On a more serious note, when things get rough I more than likely will say I can't take it anymore and want out. But do not fret. Give me 24 hours and I will come running back to you saying how sorry I am and that I didn't really mean it. I like to be early to appointments and such, so please dont make me late. I am incredibly jealous and posessive, but the only reason I am is because I know I have someone wonderful and I don't want to lose you.

I know our marriage is going to be dificult, but after everything we go through... we will laugh at all of our crazy times. I promise. =]

Love,
Your Eternal Companion- Devree

picture time!

i noticed i don't really post any pictures up here, so i thought it would be nice to put up a pretty recent one. i love this picture because i'm with my best friend kaytie and we were having a ladie's night with our friend shea. we all got dolled up and just had a blast!! you can't tell, but i'm wearing my extensions and it's all pulled into a side ponytail. i will try to be better about posting pictures on here!

Decisions, decisions....

i fell off the blogging bandwagon for a little bit, but only because i've been busy with school =]

anyways, i've been thinking a lot about decisions. big decisions, little decisions, medium decisions. decision making is a scary thing for me. a good choice or a bad choice no matter how small or big it may seem can effect the rest of your life. i made a big decision in my life tonight and i'm still a little unnerved by it. i know i made the right choice, but sometimes i wonder why choosing the right has to hurt so much. i've never really felt this alone before...like i can't fully count on anyone. the only thing that is keeping me from turning back at this point is knowing that the one person i can rely on no matter what is my Heavenly Father. He will keep my secrets and comfort me when no one else can or will. i love that feeling and the power that knowledge gives me! and also the knowledge that my savior Jesus Christ took upon himself the sorrows and sins of the world! he KNOWS exactly what i'm feeling right now and he understands better than anyone! how remarkable is that?! i love my savior and i know that he lives!

this past week

This past week I had the opportunity to stay at home by myself for a full week. It was an interesting experience and I learned some things. Some are silly and some are serious.

-dirty dishes don't clean themselves...and neither does the dirty laundry or the dirty bathroom
-it doesn't matter how many times you change the channel...nothing different will be on
-new alarm systems suck
-ordering pizza gets so old, so quick
-i love and appreciate my mom a lot more
-living TRULY on your own is highly overrated and really boring

i had a strange epiphany yesterday when i was watching shrek 2 yesterday with two of my friends. it was at the part where the Fairy Godmother tells Shrek that if he really loves Fiona, then he'll let her go. and afterwards i was like, "Excuse me but that is a load of bull." When you love someone and an obstacle comes in the way, YOU DON'T LET THEM GO! You freakin' hold onto them like Hell was nipping at your heels. You FIGHT to the death.

today has been a real....off day for me. i feel like my body is declaring war against me. i have cramps which i haven't had in months, a splitting headache and i'm feeling very lethargic. i walked into my mom's bathroom for no reason and she looks at me and was like, "What's wrong sweety?" And i replied, "I don't know. I feel very sad and I feel like I'm going to cry. And I don't know why..." i still haven't figured out the reason. i'm just going to go sleep on it.

Just for Fun =]

My cousin Brittney did this, so I thought I would do it too. Way to kill boredom!

Here are the rules:1) Post rules on your blog2)Answer the six '8' items 3) Let each person know by leaving them a comment

8 Favorite TV Shows:
1) The Biggest Loser!
2) Grey's Anatomy
3) Friends
4) Reba
5) America's Next Top Model
6) King of Queens
7) Cold Case
8) CSI

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1.) Went to school
2) ate a wrap for lunch
3) watched tv
4) wrote the rough draft for my theatre paper
5) took a nap
6) made cookies for my grandpa
7) sprayed weeds
8) watched the biggest loser

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1) turning 20 in october and celebrating it in disneyland with my friends
2) seeing my boys!
3) switching my major
4) getting a job
5) meeting my true love
6) going on a date
7) losing this weight
8) To get married in the temple

8 Favorite Restaurants:
1) Logan's!
2) Olive Garden
3) Applebees
4) Sonic
5) Fleming's Steakhouse
6) SUBWAY
7) Abuelos
8) Cheeburger

8 Things on my wish list:
1) a new car
2) MONEY
3) Wii Fit
4) losing this weight
5) scholarship/grant
6) a new cell phone
7) A trip to Fiji
8) clothes

Friendship

Lately, I have been pondering the meaning of friendship. I think for most people, they only want to be friends with someone when it's convienent. I have two friends who have been close for years, and now they've come to this bump in the road and things are difficult. One of them is extremely frustrated with the other and doesn't understand why she can't make time to hang out and/or talk. However, the other is very busy with school and work and does not have a lot of extra time. It breaks my heart to watch these two girls that I love very much go through this. The good news is that they both are trying.

I went through something similar about a year ago when I was having a hard time accepting Kristi getting married. I felt as if I had been replaced or pushed aside. However, now I look back and I realize that I was just feeling very hurt because my best friend was going on with her life and I couldn't come along for the ride. I think that's what is going on with these two girls.

In high school, it's so much easier to be friends when you see that person everyday and you don't have a demanding job. But when you get into college, you're thrown into the real world. You can't hang out like you did in the good old days. This is life and life is not fun. It's tough. When I step back and look at my life in this aspect, I realize that just because you don't hang out often or talk all the time does not mean you aren't friends anymore. I am still very good friends with Kristi, and I am thankful for that. Another example is my sister Kamee and her best friend from High School, Faith. They were inseperable in High School, yet now they both are married with kids and Faith has moved to Tennesse. Obviously, they don't hang out like they used to, but I do know that they keep in contact and try to talk as often as possible. That friendship is still there. It will always be there.

Friendship or any kind of relationship should not be defined by distance or time. It is the bond you share and what you do with that bond that counts.

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." -Timothy Bentley

WOOHOO!

School has just been absolutely wonderful so far! And I say that with no sarcasm. I love each of my classes and I go into each class, just wanting to learn more. I think my Theatre class is my favorite though. We watch plays in class and then discuss them. It's a lot of fun. All of a sudden it's like something clicked within my head that I need to buckle down and focus on school. I'm actually spending more time in the library and looking for more resources for me to use so I can do well on my tests. It's like it's a whole new me! =D